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In Order to Get Rid of Afflictions, Change Your Outlook on Life and Value
The sea of suffering is boundless. The sea of tribulation is caused by the wrong outlook on life and values. To get yourself away from the abyss of suffering, you must thoroughly change your wrong outlook on life and values. One cannot get rid of the worries and troubles of life by possessing more money, greater fame, higher position or more beauties. On the contrary, such possessions can only add to one’s distress, which will increase with the increase of your possession of these things. The traditional family is a sea of misery. The affliction between husband and wife originates from the mutual possession, the necessary results of which are afflictions. The ultimate way to eliminate distress is to give up possession and have nothing. Life is but a journey of LIFE in the human world. The more one wants to possess, the more tiring the journey would be. To get rid of distresses, we must change the traditional outlook on life and values.
Learn to be independent, do not try to control others or have yourself controlled by other
Traditional culture always emphasizes mutual dependance. Actually, once man attempts to depend on something, he will try to manage and control the thing he depends upon, which will necessarily lead to afflictions. For example, if husband and wife always depend on each other, and always try to use their own outlook on life and values to transform the other party, and always attempt to have the other party act and behave according to their own wills, then both parties will be landed in a miserable situation. Therefore, man must learn to be independent. The earlier one becomes independent, the less distress one will suffer.
Give up possession and believe in and rely on the Home Without Marriage and Family
According to tranditional outlook on life, the more one possesses, the better one fares. As a result, man is always trying various means to amass possessions all his life. For this purpose he is always kept on the run, attracted by the possession of money and property, fame and possession, and lovers, and so on. In fact, possession is not a very good thing. Once one possesses something, he will become the slave of the thing that he possesses. In particular, man should not own each other. The outlook on life that “you are mine" is wrong, because the one that is possessed will feel that his liberty of life is restricted, and will as a result rebel consciously or unconsciously, which will necessarily lead to afflictions for both parties. Chanyuan celestial already owns the Home Without Marriage and Family, which takes care of their food, clothing, shelter, transportation, life, health and death. So they should love the home, rely on the home, and shift completely from the reliance on man to reliance on and belief in the home.
Be responsible for yourself instead of complaining against others
"I am doing this all for your good". This is a wrong outlook on life, which has actually added invisible burden of spirit and soul on people "served" and also has brought many worries and unhappiness to oneself. Man should first be responsible for himself. Only if one is happy and pleasant himself, can he bring happiness and pleasure to others. A person who is unhappy and unpleasant himself can never bring happiness and pleasure to others no matter how sincerely he has been working for the good of others. If you feel that you are doing things for the good of others, then you are placing a hope and expectation on them. When they do not conform to your will in their actions and words, you will surely feel unbearable, miserable, resentful and desperate. Facts have proved that one of the major sources of the misery of life is the outlook on life that one should first be responsible for others instead of for oneself.
Do not dwell on the past, but look forward to the future
Whatever you have achieved in the past, it is only the track of your life and the arrangement of fate, and you cannot help it. "The bodhisattvas do not pride themselves on the merits and virtues". When you have spent your time and youth for others, they are also spending their time and youth for themselves. It is not a matter of who owes who. He will be plunged in endless suffering, once a person indulges himself in the past, especially in the contributions he has made in the past, feeling that others and the society have let himself down and owe a lot to him. "Celestial beings will make judgment of who is right and who is wrong, and Tao will naturally mete out punishment to faults and reward to merits." One will reap what he sows. As long as what we have done in the past is virtuous, then we will be richly rewarded by Tao. The past is already a thing of the past, no matter how glorious or miserable it has been. What we should do now is look forward to the future and chase the sun. This is required for a rational life.
Love is unselfish devotion instead of expectation and exaction
The Greatest Creator is love by nature. Love is the source of freedom and happiness. If we have a heart of love, we should most willingly devote ourselves, without any regret or resentment. We should not place any hope on or attach any condition to the one we love. We should not regard love as an investment, and expect repayment now or in the future from the one we love, or hope to get something out of the one we love. Actually, if we have realized that love is unselfish devotion and practice such kind of love, we will naturally be requited with love. If we are not repaid with love, we must make a check of ourselves to find out whether our love is pure and untainted. If we attempt to hold somebody in bondage in the name of love, or try to have the one we love do things according to our own wills, then we have misunderstood love.
Man! It is easy to know and understand others but difficult to know and understand ourselves. When we are suffering the torture of distress for what we feel are right, we are actually having a distorted outlook on life and values. In this situation, complaining will not contribute to the solution of problems. To get out of misery and pain, one has to completely change his values, and form a correct outlook on life and value. Only if one has established correct outlook on life and values, he will immediately feel the joy, happiness, freedom, and blessing, and will have a bright and splendid future.