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Affectionate Love Is a Precious Gift Bestowed upon Humanity by the Greatest Creator
Nature is so lovely and pleasing because it has so many colors; human life is so sentimental; it is such a wrench to leave the world because there is love. Nature would be monotonous and dull without color; human life would be dull and cheerless without love.
"What is this love? Why people would die for it?" The British prince "loves the beauty more than the power" In the story of Butterfly Lovers, Liang Shanbo jumped into the crack of Ju Yingtai's grave without any hesitation. Romeo came underneath the window of Juliet every night singing the song "Nightingale". Most musicians and artists in Europe and some great writers in Russian created enduring masterpieces inspired by their love in heart. The Prince Charming in the fairy tales has inspired innumerable girls' beautiful dream for future life. A Maid From Heaven descended to the mortal world for marrying Dong Yong in pursuit of love. The Jade Hare descended from the moon to the mortal world for a good match. The beautiful courtesan Du Shiniang threw her jewel box into water because of the loss of love. Yin ying took risk in love with Scholar Zhang. The maiden from an official family gave up comfortable life for love; young married women complained about her sheltered life. The gifted youth dueled to death for love, which would ever make all heroes wet their sleeves with hot tears. Love has made countless men and women bow in homage, and they would rather die for romance than live without love. White Snake, Green Snake, fox, and spiders which succeed in self-refinement made effort to establish a passionate connection with handsome young man in spite of Fa Hai, Masters, Sun Wukong the Monkey King, and Taoist priest's struggling to break the pair up. Love makes people to toss and turn in bed; love makes people unable to fall asleep; love gives people the strength for searching their lovers crossing through thousands of miles away; love makes people pine away day by day and deplore for the rest of their life because of missing a good chance in love with the beloved; and love makes many people lay down their lives.
Love, is a precious gift that the Greatest Creator bestows to human beings.
Jesus and Sakyamuni are just like beacons for people in their way of happy life. They are the most respectable men in our heart. Nevertheless, one is God and the other is Buddha, and the original intention of the Greatest Creator will be distorted if human nature is required according to the principle of God and Buddha. The Greatest Creator designed the appropriate penis and vagina as well as their corresponding position. Physical contact makes peoples passionate, orgasm makes people fascinated. Missing one's sweetheart would make him/her feel meal and drink flat, but seeing one's sweetheart would make him/her rambling and incoherent in speech, speeding up in pulse, and glowing red in face. Isn't it beautiful? Is it necessary for us to set up hedges and difficulties for blocking people's real love?
Suppressing love is a destruction of human nature and a revolt against the Greatest Creator.
Somebody said "Liberty and love! These two I must have. For my love I will sacrifice life, for liberty I will sacrifice my love". But what I don't understand is that, what use is liberty if you abandon life and love.
Chairman Mao is a great man I admire the most. But during his time of governing, too much suppression of love suppressed the teenagers' longing for pure love as well as destroyed the most gorgeous part in human nature, and it distorted the most beautiful and normal psychological state in human nature. The "memorial archway for chastity" is still constraining people from the normal state given by the Greatest Creator, and it is actually a stain in human nature.
I wish human beings could reflect on the love culture reasonably and including religion doctrines and one should think of love in the level of human nature rather than raising yourself in God's or Buddha's standards. That is to say, the first thing we should do is to be a human, and to be a human is the original intension of the Greatest Creator. It is only after being a human can we be qualified for enjoying the high level space of life which had been prepared by the Greatest Creator.
Without passionate love, we are not able to feel the great love of the Greatest Creator and understand the Greatest Creator. Therefore, whoever refuses the feeling of love is actually refuse the Greatest Creator and violate the law of the Greatest Creator.
Lifechanyuan advocates " childhood love and always in love for the rest of their life", because this kind of monogamous marriage is the noblest and purest, the most beautiful and the most stable love ties. I wish everyone in the world could enjoy this kind of love live.
Lifechanyuan objects to "prostitution and whoring", because it besmirches love ties and it is only a trading, and a vulgar taste based on physical desire; it does not belong to the list of love. If prostitution and whoring became popular in society, the tragedy of ancient Rome would reappear.
In order to clear up the source and originality, promo human nature, decrease tragic incidence and encourage real love, Lifechanyuan would like to put forward the following propositions concerning love:
1. Ethics of love
Ethic refers to the order of seniority in the family hierarchy which is linked by kinship.
For example, there are two brothers here, the elder brother and the younger brother, and the elder brother married a woman A. if the younger bother married marry A's niece after his bother's marriage, then he would violate the principle of ethics, because there would be a confusion in addressing, should A's niece call the elder brother's wife auntie or sister? Another example, a woman's father in law had adultery with the woman's sister, also violates principle of ethics, because there is confusion in addressing for the woman's sister: would she call her sister's father-in-law uncle or brother? Another example, the younger brother fall in love with his brother's mother-in-law's sister. This incident violates the principle of ethics too, because it is against Chinese traditional family tree- it is inappropriate for the elder brother to call his brother's mother-in-law's sister as sister-in -law or call his brother's wife "auntie".
So, for the love affair in kinships, if there is no confusion in the form of address, then the principle of ethics is followed; otherwise, it would violate ethics. Love affair conducted between brothers and sisters of the same kin would be against ethics too, because it is also inappropriate for a man to call his sister wife, or a woman call her brother husband or lover.
Violation of the principle of ethics is against the principle as human. How could a man belong to human beings if he violates the principle for human?
2. Love civilization
Love civilization refers to the behavior of expressing love must be proper in time and location, and can not be expressed regardless of location, especially those places against the principle of ethics.
For example, in public places, different people are here together, mother and son, father and daughter, untie and nephew, father-in-law and son-in- law, grandma and grandson. If somebody hugs and kisses his/her lover passionately and they have very intimate behaviors, it would violate love civilization. Expressing intimate love in front of older generation or younger generation is also against love civilization.
Those who are against love civilization are really inhuman and are worse than pigs and dogs.
3. Proper age for love
Love relationship refers to both man and woman fall in love with each other and further have physical relations, which especially refers to the relationship between adults not otherwise. Due to its influences on body, school work, and future life, lover between an adult and a girl under age17, or a boy under age 18 would violate the rule for love age. Whatever the reason may be, the adult is enticing the young for sin. As far as the pure amour between boys and girls, it is a normal physical or mental phenomenon, and there is no point in making a big fuss about it.
4. Love relationship
Love relationship refers to the amour affection between men and women. It should be proper in ethics, civilization, age, and also exclude those behaviors making business in the name of love. Love relationship should confirm to human nature, and the intention of the Greatest Creator to create human beings. Age has nothing to do with love relationship (adult), and people of 80 could have love relationship with people of 20 as long as they are proper in the principle of ethics.
5. Love's diversification
Each one is an individual in human society: some may be cold while other may be warm-hearted; some picky, some omnivorous; some incompetent, some energetic. So it is impossible to create a unified rule for the model of love. Love is something very personal. Love only one, good, love more than one, fine; it is nothing wrong to shift love from one to another or to remain single all their life. It is the business of nobody so long as it suits human nature and pleases the couple concerned.
The love relationship bearing no-harm to other people's love relationship is called love morality.
This is really a tricky problem. Let's illustrate this from the famous novel of Song Dynasty Water Margin, on the relationship of Wu Dalang, his wife Pan Jinlian and Ximen Qing. From the traditional morality point of view, Pan should be faithful to her husband all her life and her love affair with Ximen Qing was against the traditional doctrine for married woman, because she should not have inordinate ambitions for another man. But from the human nature point of view, it is too cruel for Pan, because her faith met the satisfaction of Wu at the cost of her own feelings. So, what should she do? Could she be satisfied with her life? It is too cruel for a physical and psychological healthy woman with lustful desire to be loyal to her husband who is rough and tough, even unable to meet her sexual desire. So, the love relationship for Pan and Ximen is reasonable, and she had the right to pursue her love; but for the case of Ximen, the situation is different, because his behavior would hurt the love relationship of Pan and Wu and it is contrary to the love morality; therefore, tragedy was inevitable. So, in this story, Pan was the victim of Ximen's desire. Wu's behavior is against love morality too, because his relationship with Pan hurt Pan and Ximen's love, so he should bear consequence.
It is easy to criticize Ximen Qing, while it is difficult to criticize Wu Dalang, because the love relationship between Wu and Pan is earlier than that of Pan and Ximen; compared with Ximen's powerful position in society, Wu belonged to the weaker. Show sympathy to the weak is human nature. The human society would change to the world of animals if there is no sympathy shown for the weak.
So what to do? What should Wu Dalang do? The marriage of Pan and Wu required that Pan should restrain or suppress her love desire with Ximen Qing; and after all, Wu need Pan to look after him and it is likely that he would be single all his life if Pan left him. Of course, if any moralists are willing to persuade your daughter or sister to marry Wu, it would be a perfect solution.
Wu Dalang needs our concern because we are human beings; and Pan also needs to be taken into consideration because it is human nature. We would not allow the powerful man bully the weak and allow the weak bully the powerful man; neither should we destroy human nature for the benefit of the weak.
So, is there any proper solution?
Let Pan suffer all her life? Definitely not！We will save Pan Jinliang from her jail.
Ask Wu Dalang to eat such humble pie helplessly? Of course not! Human society should be a happy place for everybody.
Pan's freedom would be Wu's tragedy while Wu's freedom would be Pan's tragedy. Then how to avoid tragedy while being free?
Wu is pitiful if he got divorced with Pan. And Pan would commit bigamy if she left with Ximen and Wu's fate would be more miserable.
The only solution is an emancipation of mind. Pan might tell Wu her desire and feeling honestly, and Wu should had a clear understanding about his ability. He should love Pan and understand Pan's sensation. An agreement can be reached: Pan should be allowed to enjoy "wild fruits" to Wu's insufficient supply while performing her duty as a wife.
Ximen Qing, on the other hand, was very rich. He should know that if he wanted to maintain a stable love relationship with Pan, he must be fair with Wu and bring him no harm; he might choose to take good care of Wu's life at the expense of material things. If all of the three people in this case agreed with each other, they would live in peace and Pan would be satisfied both in body and feeling; the love relationship between Pan and Xinmen would result no harm to Wu either, and then there is nothing against love morality.
If Wu agreed to get divorce with Pan, it is fine. But if he chose neither to divorce Pan nor to accept the above suggestion, he would end up with nothing in his life. Suppressing human nature is strongly discouraged in Lifechanyuan.
On the other hand, if Ximen Qing also accepted the above suggestion, everything would be ok; but if not, if he acted just as he pleased because of his wealth, he would also end up at a court or in prison or being killed by Wu Dalang's younger brother, Wu Song.
My dear friend, do you have any good idea? Why not bring out for discussion?
Every individual is different. No one is in the shoes of the other. So we should set rules or morality based on human nature, which should not serve only for a certain group of people, whether they are poor or rich, weak or strong, the minority and the majority.
Most people are atheist and materialist. According to their point of view, there is no previous life or next life in any sense and a man dies just like a lamp goes out. Because people can only enjoy one time of life on earth, they should live their life to its fullest. No matter how beautiful the reason might be, there should be no sacrifice of human nature, and one of the most magnificent part of human nature is love.
Deprivation of people's nature occurred during the Middle Ages in Europe and the feudal society in China. Those shopworn scholars assuming to be moralists apparently, those well-fed and prosperous high officials and noble lords, and those churchman who did not know the real truth of the universe, they never thought about the emancipation of human nature especially the human nature of ordinary people. Those people who frivoled their youth away in dissipation for following the outmoded conventions and customs, and some ignorant old people; they did not want to break the magic formula on the young generation. Each time when love trouble occurs, they would say: "Endure it. We have endured all our life. You see we have survived all these endurance, isn't it?" What did you say? You'd better shut up! You men wore two pigtails, you women wrapped your feet, must we young generation do the same as you? A fox without the tail is not a good fox, and a lifetime without love is not a good lifetime either. People should not only live for survival but for life.
Love morality is just like this: as long as their love does not bring harm to other people, it is moral.
Let's make analysis on several love case and love phenomena according to love ethics, love civilization, proper age for love, love relationship, love's diversification, and love morality.
1. Mr. Yang Zhenning and Ms. Wong Fan's love
Mr. Yang was 82 years old while Ms. Wong was 28 years old when they got married. Is there any problem with their love?
1. Does their love violate the state constitution or law?
2. Does their love violate any love ethics?
3. Does their love violate violate love civilization?
4. I Does their love violate the proper age of love?
5. Does their love violate love relationship?
6. Does their love violate love's diversification?
7. Does their love violate love morality?
If their love goes against or violates any of the above items, it should be blamed; if not, their love should be protected, should not be reproached at least.
I do not know exactly their story in detail. But seeing from the hearsays on the internet, we know that their love story neither violates the state constitution or law nor violate love ethics, civilization, age and morality. Ms. Wong's reply to the journalists shows that their love is based on mutual love and respect, which means that their relationship conformed to the requirement of love relationship. Although Mr. Yang is much older than Ms. Wong, their age still within the proper age of love. Therefore, the love relationship between Yang and Wong is definitely reasonable.
We should not only accept it but should encourage it as well.
They broke up the constraints of traditional concept under great pressure, made a good example for a lot of aged people, and sweeping all obstacles and creating other outlets for the love practice of the old men.
Such a great disparity of age did not stop their love, which displayed a beautiful and broad love scene for the old people. It is really a beautiful scene for those old men who may enjoy the possibility of obtaining a twenty-year-old girl's love
The comfort brought to the old people is that it is absolutely possible to "dance the tango on the edge of death."
It displayed the beautiful part of human nature.
Lifechanyuan would like to give support to those love relations same as Mr. Yang and Ms. Wong. We would like to help them in resisting the sandstorm, severe cold and intense heat as well as hail storms from human society, because their love is consistent with human nature, and is also consistent with the will of the Greatest Creator.
2. The love relationship between a director of a bureau in Shenzhen and her subordinates.
According to news from the internet, a director of a public security bureau in Shenzhen had love affairs with many of her subordinates who were most willingly to be so. There is nothing wrong with this director if she did not violate any item of the above love principles because this is her right. A lot of people sneered at this director for her miscellaneous taste for man, Lifechanyuan, on the other hand, believes that, we do not have any reason to suppress her feeling. No matter how many men she might associate with, it is her privacy and everybody has the freedom in the conception and practice of love. She believed that she preferred to live a natural and unrestrained life even at the cost of her life. This is absolutely her own business and had nothing to do with other people. Has this given trouble to us? Lifechanyuan is willing to back this kind of people up. We wish women around the world could break the chains of traditional concept on their human nature and strive for their freedom in love.
3. Couple parties
There was a journal from South Africa which described in detail the situation of couple's parties. It really refreshed people's spirit after reading.
Couple's party means several couples even a dozen couples get together in a club and hold regular gatherings. The married spouses will be separated to form new pairs as one wish or randomly by lot. After the pleasure gathering, each couple would return to their previous family life peacefully.
This kind of relationship between husband and wife is worth of advocating. Every pair of couples would be fed up with each other after living together for many years. If you had been eating delicacies of every kind everyday, whoever you are, you would be fed up with your food no matter how delicious it was. So, make a change for your food, such as a simple food even cabbages or carrots. The family would not be destroyed and the society would not be disturbed too. It is really good for one's health and the family's harmony. So, in Lifechanyuan, couple parties are advocated.
4． Sexual party
A group of men and women, who have the common faith and under the circumstances of no violation for the principle of love, are willing to live together; this is their freedom of love and there is nothing to be blamed for. I wonder why many moralists should blame them severely. Could they formulate a perfect rule to make them live their life more happy? If the answer is not, then, what makes you think that you could interfere with their life style and criticize them? If you can not lead a happy life, better not be the advisers of other's life. It would be much better to give them more understand than criticizing.
5. Unfaithful women and loose women
Once upon a time, I had got my job redeployed. A lot of new colleagues reminded me here that: XX is a loose woman, stay away from her or your fame would be ruined and it would be too late then. These words aroused my curiosity, but you know gossip was a fearful thing and I did not dare to get close to her because it might incur the anger of the mass. By accident after a year, this woman greeted me in public. Oh, my God, what should I do? I thought then, reject her? No, improper, it would be impolite; accept it? No, that is the same as jumping into the fiery pit! I had no choices but to force myself masking like a sacrosanct moralist for answering her greeting and hope her to "stay away from me quickly. Don't ruin my political career. I am a promising a department manager." Unexpectedly, the 'loose woman" seemed unaffected; she was such a shameless person that she did not respond to my indifference at all. She stood there talking to me politely, gracefully, being neither humble nor pushy. Standing almost half an hour listening to her, I found myself grew interests to her speech. In the end, I realized this was really a considerate and unusual woman with abundant sentiment. Her humiliation, her grief and indignation, her ideal and her beautiful dream for future moved me deeply. Her words were logical and reasonable, neither flirting nor flattering. It was not until she said "thanks for your listening" that I realized that, this woman had been hurt by the indifferent, numb and prejudice of the secular society. It is us, not her, with dirty soul; it is us, not her, with despicable nature. She was just like a small white rabbit among the crowd of wolves, being discriminated and insulted helplessly.
What seems to be normal is actually abnormal; what seems to be abnormal is actually normal. Lifechanyuan is willing to redress the grievance of those "loose women" and the discrimination and insult of those people because of their living styles.
As far as some women's unfaithfulness to their husband, it is too complicated for me to illustrate it clearly here. We may leave it for later.
6. Triangle love in a marriage
I transferred from the rural area to the cities, from campus to factories, from a public official to a businessman, from living at home to living abroad. I witnessed so many tragedies and miserable things of families, where innumerable men and women live in the hell without love; they are enduring the great torment physically and spiritually; they are waiting for a salvation and liberation. They are just like prisoners numbly staring at the outside world through cold steel bars, stretching out their hand and crying "Help me. Return my freedom. I need real love."
This phenomenon is even complicated than the above examples, with a reasonable aspect as well as an unreasonable aspect. So, it is difficult to reach a conclusion. If you are interested in this topic, I'll make some analysis someday in future.
Love is a precious gift bestowed by the Greatest Creator. A lifetime without love is imperfect, and love is the most splendid part of beautiful life. Denying love is denying lifetime, and thus denying the Greatest Creator.
Love is the embodiment of human nature. Without love, there would be no exhibition of human nature; therefore, suppression or brutal behavior on love is destroying human nature.
All principles of morality in human society should be based on developing human nature; the morality ignoring love is inhuman.
What human beings should do first is to be human beings rather than celestials, Buddha or gods. The standards for gods, Buddha and celestials are not fit for human beings, and they will ruin and destroy human nature.
Everyone has the right to choose his lifestyle. No one, including religion, political party or government should force people to choose their love style.
Please think about how to live through this lifetime before thinking about the next lifetime
The intension of the Greatest Creator is to enable people enjoy the pleasure of life and pleasure of love; therefore, a men without love life is incapable of understanding the correct meaning of the Greatest Creator, and incapable of revering the Greatest Creator.
My dear friends, go and pursue your love bravely!
Postscript: This article had been finished for almost a year and only a part of it came out in publications. The main reason is that this article might arouse anger among traditional people because of its "corrupting public morals" characteristic. So I dare not be offensive. Today, I read an article written by Mr. Guo Zhiyi in blog: Defense for Yang Zhenning（shocking edition）and got inspired. It is lucky that some of our fellow countrymen still keep a cool head. So I ventured the publication of the whole article to serve as a target for those "honest folks" to criticize.
December 16, 2005